Of Sparking Joy
It has taken me so long to get back to writing this. And for once, this has not been about my mundane daily chores or the kids. I have been busy for all of last month- sparking joy!
A small part of that joy has come from the fact that I have now officially been replaced. The two year is now legally a three year old. And a very busy one. The previously felt strain is now being converted into constant amusement. And the whining and crying for mommy has finally stopped. How? Because I have been replaced. And how.
One certain night, more like midnight, exhausted by the constant mommy-ing, while trying to reach for the phone, my hand instead hit a car key on the bedside. Sheer exhaustion often takes over logic and by that logic- I handed him his favourite car’s key.
I do not know what triggered in that tiny head of his- but he accepted the key. And slept. For the first time in three long years. No more mommy, no more anything. Just a simple key.
Of course, it helps that he is so obsessed by that certain car. So much that Tesla was one of his first words. So much that he can live inside that car. And so much- that I schedule all his difficult meals inside the car- when he is so distracted, furiously pressing random buttons.
Ever since that day- I have been replaced. In the car, on the plane and in my own home. The key sleeps along with him, sometimes catches a drop of the maple syrup off his pancake, and almost drowns in the bathtub until rescued every evening. When we socially go visit people, it comes along and it also took a fun trip to Memphis recently. Of course- the logistics aren’t that easy. Imagine scrambling in someone else’s home, and their home floor looking for something so precious, more than my earrings or my ring perhaps. Or going in the middle of a cold night, out of the home and into the detached car garage, into a cold car- looking for the key- in order to stop life-curdling screams.
But on the whole- life is good. Between a wonderful seven year old and an impatient (and now distracted) three year old- life is good!
This has given me so much of a breather lately. That I finally picked my favorite book again and once that was done- decided to explore Netflix a bit more. And came across Marie Konda.
In an age of social media, Netflix and Amazon Prime, we are just so connected. In ways that we could not have envisioned. Suddenly, the cluttered homes that Marie was visiting and transforming- became mine. All the emotional, sentimental stuff from over two decades taking so much space- became mine. And like Marie put it delicately- I decided to finally sort and look and keep only those thing that sparked joy.
So earlier this week, I took every piece of clothing that I have owned forever, and piled it up on the bed. On a huge king sized bed. When I started, I never imagined the whole large space to be filled. And it did, within an hour. And that did not look good. So I dutifully followed the next step suggested by Marie - pick up each piece of clothing and ask if it still sparked joy. And so I started, one by one. The first one definitely sparked joy. So did the next one, and the next and several others after that. After almost 6 hours of picking each piece of clothing and asking my inner soul- I was finally done. It was now time to return the joyful remainders to their shelves. And to enjoy the empty space created by removing the unjoyful ones.
Except for one small hitch- when I glanced over the pile of clothes to be removed from the shelves- I barely saw five dress. A six hour long hard labor of finding my joy and only these five did not meet the match. Out of those- I decided to keep one for Holi- the festival of color. So that bought it down to four. And that did not spark joy at all. AT ALL.
And so here I am, back to my I-pad. Pouring my last month’s events onto this page. And slowly but surely realizing- that this is what Sparks True Joy for me. As for Ms. Marie Kondo’s transformations- maybe those could be postponed for another time for now, to allow this real joy to seep through.
