Of life’s precious lessons
My heart is so full today.
I know I have expressed this several times. I do believe that a big part of this comes from having children. Through all those mountains of strength, a small stream of feeling and emotions that we didn’t know ever existed- seep in.
Today I spent a long part of my day at the Children’s Hospital. An overwhelming part. The last time we walked in those doors was six years back. With a baby who would scream through his lungs in pain. Today- walking in through that same building all those bitter memories crawled back. Of a very difficult year- filled with sadness, illness, an ulcerated tumor and endless visits to the place. Of innumerable times of asking-why us, why US.
All those memories that we filed in a forgotten chamber somewhere in the back of our mind years ago, seemed to have come out forth today. For some time- it became overwhelming to move past and brush those memories away. Even though today’s visit wasn’t anywhere close to our earlier experiences. But such are the ways of life.
Today- the heart felt so, so full. With uncontrollable emotions. But with a slight difference.
Towards the end of that very rough first year, six years back, when we finally walked out of that hospital door, we felt like we had to move on. That we would never remember those difficult times and look forward. Yet, like everything else in existence, there is an action and a reaction. Sometimes, to look forward, we have to know where looking back is.
Once again walking through those once familiar corridor today, now with an overactive toddler running everywhere in full steam, we felt the same. We crossed so many children in wheelchairs yet again. Crossed even more parents looking longingly and lovingly at the toddler. Some of those lives may move on- and some never will. Some with action, and some with reaction.
Over the last few years, I have understood, that when we are receptive, when we open our hearts to hear the invisible beats of the Universe, we learn our most valuable lessons. Sometimes, when we look through our colored glasses towards life, we feel like our problems are the beginning and end of our being, our existence.
And when we finally walked out that door today afternoon, and looked back in, the heart swelled with gratitude. So much to be thankful about. In the larger scheme of life, I feel like we have understood somewhere that we have to undergo some rough experiences to truly understand certain lessons. Perhaps, this was it. No amount of words can explain the story of ‘the man with no shoes’ than what we experienced.
Today- on the other side of the fence- we felt truly grateful. For this life, for these beautiful children, for the experiences that we have been able to file away somewhere far away, for life’s opportunities. The heart is so full of gratitude today. And just like a sign- a few hours back- I came across this-
The Strongest people are not the ones who show Strength in front of us..
But those who win battles we know Nothing about!
