Of dreams

I woke up in the stillness of the morning today, at 5 am. There was pin drop silence and also an extension of the stillness of the night. My mind in a hazy state, I walked out to the backyard and took a few deep breaths.

Over the past few days, I have this same recurring dream. Neither good, nor bad- yet the same thing. Day after day. I do know and understand that a phenomenon like this is an extension of our subconscious mind. However, this particular dream does not even seem connected to any of that.

It is interesting that after seeing this pattern over the last few days, I consciously decided to erase it out of my memory in the mornings and during the day. Before going to bed, I would read something totally unrelated or watch a funny sitcom. And yet, at a stage in my sleep when my guard against this was most unguarded, I would see the same thing again. And then again I would experience the same stillness in the silence of my morning here.

Today, as I stepped out onto the backyard, once again looking at the far horizon, I felt my breath again. And I began to feel that perhaps my obsession with avoiding this dream was resulting in me seeing it more frequently than ever. That a better way would be to embrace it, given that it is of such neutral nature.

This is so true of so many things in life. When we try to avoid something, we find ourselves facing it more frequently than ever. I wonder if tonight would be different, now that I am not trying to purposely forget what I dreamt and am embracing the random musings of my subconscious mind.