Of Deja Vu
To say that the last few days have been super-busy would be an understatement. And after reading my previous blogs a few times, it is a pattern that I feel keeps on coming back.
I have lately been thinking a lot about what someone told me a few months back- someone whose kids were all grown up and who was struggling with loneliness and striving to find avenues to keep busy. On one such busy morning- as I was complaining and justifying how I do not even get a moment to breathe, she told me to not think, to just go with the flow. And to enjoy these busy time and little-big moments. Of how no time to sit back and breathe relaxed is a thousand times better than the ones in which you could count each time you inhaled. That these were the best times of our lives, and life-cycle. Of feeling loved, strained, stretched, wanted. Of existing. Unfortunately, a few months back, she passed away. As life and dust settles around, I have found myself thinking of her, of several such words of wisdom, of things that I did not pay attention to consciously, but heard subconsciously and of life-cycle.
And on one such morning when the ringing of the words in my brain has become too loud to ignore, I divert a few moments to let them out, here. I guess, as we grow older, or face situations that we had heard about a thousand times, a sense of Deja-Vu kicks in. Of I told you so, of our moments at the place and time before.
Speaking of Deja-Vu, yesterday I got a message on Karmic, asking for our exact ‘store address’. On finding, probing and calling, I found myself talking to a young mom who had been driving around with her young infant in tow, hoping to find a ‘physical store’ to finally procure something that her child could finally taste as a treat.
The incident kept ringing in heart for several hours, all night long and today morning. Through my tears slipping out as I was in front of the mirror, I saw us. Of how we were. Of all the desperate times. To find that one thing that would bring us happiness. With our small boy in tow. I guess I felt too choked to explain to the young mom, that this was Deja-Vu, that this had been me- just a few years back. With a crying baby in the car-seat, driving away for hours, determined to find something small to add a big meaning.
Life sometimes moves in circles, and lately I have had several such moments. While it still hurts when I reach the same cross-roads, however, each time, it leaves behind a lesson of gratitude, of being thankful for what we have versus what we could have had. Yesterday was one such moment I was thankful to the Universe for bringing me Karmic Foods, and to that mom for bringing out the mirror in front. Like they say, lest we forget, and to remember the true reasons why we started in the first place.
